5 Here Come the Girls by Milly Johnson

Author:Milly Johnson [Johnson, Milly]
Language: eng
Format: azw3, epub, mobi
Tags: General, Fiction
ISBN: 9781849832069
Google: Tw6u14tLdFoC
Amazon: B004UENLEO
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
Published: 2011-04-27T23:00:00+00:00

Chapter 25

David Hardcastle huffed off the bus with three bags full of shopping. How Olive managed five or six was anyone’s guess. Mind you, she didn’t have a bad back like he did. Then he remembered that he didn’t actually have a bad back and came full circle to wondering how Olive carried so much shopping home.

Doreen was dozing in her chair when he went in. Kevin was out – probably servicing one of his women. Though ‘women’ was pushing it a bit. Most of them belonged in the zoo behind very strong fencing. This was bloody ridiculous. Where was his wife?

He threw the shopping down on the table and heard the crack of eggs from within one of the carrier bags. That really was the last straw. He picked up Olive’s address book, which she kept by the house telephone, and flicked through it for Ven’s number. He rang it, but all he got was an answering machine and he didn’t leave a message. Then he rang Roz’s number and got yet another answering machine. Didn’t anyone ever pick up the bloody phone these days?

Then David had a brainwave. He got out the Yellow Pages and looked up Manus Howard’s garage. If this was another answering machine, he was going to smash the phone against the wall.

But it wasn’t. Manus picked up after two rings.

‘Oh hello,’ said David. ‘I’m wondering if your Roz is about. It’s Dave . . . Hardcastle. Olive’s husband.’

Crikey, thought Manus. He didn’t know that David had enough gumption to use a phone. He felt himself smiling mischievously.

‘Er no, mate. She’s gone on holiday. With Olive.’

‘Has she?’ gasped David, in a voice higher than Joe Pasquale’s. ‘Oh, er . . . Olive never said Roz was going as well.’

‘And Ven,’ added Manus. He wondered from David’s tone if he even knew anything about the cruise at all. Well, well, well. So Olive had managed to escape her drudgery and think about herself for once. Go Olive, he thought.

‘So . . . have you heard from them?’ asked David tentatively. He didn’t want Manus to think that he didn’t know where they had gone.

‘Well, they’ll be in the middle of the sea, I expect, and so I doubt they’ll get phone reception.’

‘The middle of the sea?’ squeaked David.

‘Yes. They’ve gone on a cruise, didn’t you know? For sixteen days.’

‘Oh, er . . . Oh sorry, I’ve got to go. Mother’s calling me. Be right there, Mum.’ And David put the phone down quickly and let out a long double lungful of breath.

‘What’s up with you?’ said Kevin, suddenly appearing in the kitchen doorway and grinning beatifically after a nice little lunchtime session with Julie Two-Teeth and her performing knockers. His cousin’s face was the colour of uncooked pastry.

David slumped onto the kitchen chair. ‘Olive’s gone on a cruise. For sixteen days.’

‘Eh?’

‘You heard.’

‘You are joking!’ said Kevin.

‘Do I look like I’m joking?’ snapped David. ‘Do I look like a man who wants to chortle about his wife

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